Can you decipher this phrase? EHCA Backache!

Can you decipher this phrase? box box box box box box box box box box box box Shit box box box box box box box box box box box box Shit in the box!

1. You get mad when you don't find a fly in your soup. 2. You buy out the supply of wart removal cream in your drugstore constantly. 3. French chefs are eyeing your legs and appear to be following you. 4. Bug lamps appear to you as a curse. 5. On applications, you list 'Pond' as your home address. 6. Kermit is your idol. 7. You get mad whenever Miss Piggy makes a pass at Kermit. 8. Have seen the movie 'The Fly' at least ten times. 9. You live in fear that some day you will wind up in a child's aquarium. 10. France is the evil empire to you.

Remove seven letters from this grid to leave two numbers. S F E V E I N L V E T E T F E R O S U R Simply remove 'SEVEN LETTERS' and you are left with FIVE and FOUR: - F - - - I - - V - - E - F - - O - U R

I was traveling from Chesterton to Newcastle recently when I came across a sign which had fallen off its post at the crossroads. It was marked to Newcastle, Chesterton, Knutton and Silverdale. Unfortunately I didn't know which road to take to Newcastle and had hoped the sign would help. Luckily, I had a great idea which helped me put the sign back up pointing correctly to Newcastle. What was my idea? I simply pointed Chesterton back the way I had come and this left the sign in its correct orientation.

Which word is the odd one out: football polo badminton baseball golf tennis cricket billiards rugby Badminton. This is the only sport which does not use a ball, it uses a shuttlecock.

During a recent expedition, three intrepid adventurers were left stranded in the middle of the desert with only a crate full of apples. During the night, Alan woke up and decided to hide his share of the apples, one-third, then promptly fell asleep again. Brian woke up shortly after and also decided to hide a third of the remaining apples and he also dozed back to sleep. Finally, Charlie woke up and seeing the others were asleep, took a third of what was left. Of course none of the adventurers knew of the other's antics, so, in the morning, they shared the remaining apples, each receiving sixteen. How many apples were in the crate originally?

The other day, I was walking my dog around my building...on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths. I had a dog once. I spilled spot remover on him, and now he's gone. I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. I bought a dog the other day... I named him Stay. It's fun to call him... "Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!" He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing. He's an East German Shepherd.

Jenny walks into a pet shop and says to Bobby, the owner, "I want to buy a canary." "We have many types," says Bobby, "is there any particular one you're after?" "Yes," replies Jenny, "its got to be a very good singer. I'm prepared to pay good money for a great singing bird." "Lady, I've got the very one," says Bobby, "I've been in this business for a long time and this bird has the best singing voice I've ever heard - we don't call it 'Pavarotti' for nothing. I'll get it for you." As he begins to climb a ladder to reach a small cage on the top shelf, Jenny says, "I hope you're not wasting your time. Just because you're climbing a ladder like a monkey won't make me feel obliged to buy thi

A man goes to the store with a list of things he needs to buy for his wife, and as he is going in he sees a child with free kittens. He continues and buys the things on the list. On the way out he sees the free kittens again and no-one has taken any. So he takes his things to his car, comes backs and takes the SIX kittens that are left. He goes home brings in the groceries and then the six kittens. when his wife sees the six kittens she says "Why do you have six kittens, six kittens!" Husband calmly replys, "Six kittens hell, those are six pale bearers for your dead pussy!"

What do you call a dog in the sun? A Hot Dog!

Mr. Lwin was staring at the cage in the zoo, watching the great cat pace back and forth. "I wonder what the tiger would say if it could talk," he said to the zookeeper. The zookeeper replied, "It would probably say, 'Hey dummy, I'm a cheetah!"