Category Jokes - Animal
A boy named John was moving away somewhere far from his the home he is already in. But he couldn't bring the loved kitten he found. So he decided to sneak it. He stuffed the cat in a cardboard box without any holes. Suddenly his mother came up. He quickly taped it shut and put it on the corner of his bed.
"John, did I hear a cat meow?"
"No mother."
She left. So then John went "Whew!" and he sat on the opposite corner of the bed. It forced the box upwards and out the window. The cat popped out and had it hands up, like on a roller coaster, and the same with its feet. It stared right at John and made a quiet meow. It fell in the kiddie pool.
John said, "Well no wonder they call it the Kitty
Paddy and his missus are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog barking.
It had been barking for hours and hours.
Suddenly, Paddy jumps out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this," and goes downstairs.
Paddy finally comes back up to bed and his wife says, "The dog is still barking. What have you been doing?"
Paddy says, "I've put their dog in our yard - now we'll see how THEY like it!"
A child was born one day with a condition that limited him to only being able to whisper - unable to speak loudly or normally. At about 30 years old he finally goes to the doctor wanting to treat it.
"Can you treat this condition, doc?" he whispers very silently, barely heard. "Well, I can run a few tests and try to figure it out," the doctor says.
About an hour later the doctor says to the patient, "I have good news and bad news."
"What's the good news?" the man whispers.
"The good news is that we can cure it."
"What's the bad news, doc?"
"The bad news is that we'll have to amputate your penis," the doctor says.
"Oh no, I can't do that. Never mind," the man murmurs as he left the room.
Yo Momma is so smelly that when she entered a pig sty, all the pigs had to evacuate...
My friend Doug pointed up at a bird circling overhead and said, "Look, it's an eagle!"
"That doesn't look like an eagle," I said.
"Well of course not," he shot back amazingly quickly. "It's travelling incognito. Haven't you ever heard that "Eagles are Masters of De Skys?"
Person A: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Person B: Is this a trick question?
DON'T CHEAT!
Draw a pig. Yes, that's right.
On a blank piece of paper, draw a pig, then scroll down and read the interpretation of your pig!
Draw your pig first! And don't look at the next part until you are done! It won't be fun if you look first.
Now if you're done...start to scroll down.....
YOU'RE CHEATING! DRAW THE DAMN PIG!
Little Birds
Do you know someone who seems to know everything?
When asked why, they say, "A little birdie told me."
Did you know they probably aren't lying? It is a little known fact that there are little birds that fly very fast, are never seen, and they are everywhere - thus, these creatures are called "Flies Unseen Everywhere" or FUE for short. These birds have an extensive communications network, and they can generally find out anything from anywhere quite quickly.
Some of these birds befriend certain individuals and communicate with them by making clucking sounds, much like a chicken. They are not dumb like chickens, however, and can establish a sort of clucking language with the lu
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