A farmer is going down the road with his horse pulling his wagon and his dog lying next to 'em. The farmer says, "It sure is hot out here." The horse turns back and says, "It sure is." The farmer says, "I didn't know horses could talk." The dog said, "Neither did I."

Two guys decided to go buy two pigs. So after they bought them they wanted to know which one was who's. So they went to the barn but when they got there the two pigs were fighting. After they broke them up one pig was missing a ear. So one guy said, "What are we going to do now?" So after they thought about it for a while they went back to the barn. When they got there the pigs were fighting again. After they broke them up one pig was missing a tail. So the guy said, ''What now?'' After they thought about it for a while they went back to the barn. The pigs were fighting again. After they broke them up one pig was missing a leg. So the guy said, ''What now?'' The other guy said, "FUCK IT!

A crab and an ant lost their homes. The crab says to the ant, "I'm going to find us a place to sleep tonight." They're walking and the crab sees a naked lady walking towards them. "Hey, ant. You see that lady? We're going to crawl up to her bush and go to sleep there tonight." Once up there, the crab say's to the ant, "You see that door? You go up there and sleep tonight and I'll sleep in her bush." That night when they were asleep the lady had a guy friend come over and they had sex. That morning the ant say to the crab, "How did you sleep, Crab?" The crab says, "Great. How did you sleep, Ant?" "Well," the ant says "in that door you sent me at about two o'clock in the morning,

What kind of sneakers do chickens wear? Re-bok-bok-bok-bok-bok.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken!

This is a joke to do to a very gullible person. You start off by telling that person to say "Just like me", whenever you say something. You then start: "I went to my house" Just like me. "And walked through the door" just like me "and up the stairs" just like me "and then I walked down the hall" just like me "and opened the door to my room" just like me " And then I heard a noise" just like me " and I looked out my window" just like me "And saw a monkey that looked" just like me

Q.What did one sheep call the other sheep who stole his food? A. a ba-a-astard

An ant and an elephant got married. After they had sex, the elephant had a heart attack and died. "Crap," the ant said. "Five minutes of passion and now the rest of my life digging a grave."

What was the elephant doing on the highway? About 5 mph

A class is on a field trip to the zoo. They are in the farm animal's section, and all of the sudden the entire class looks to their right and see 2 pigs going at it like it was the last day on Earth. Boy: o.o umm... teacher, what are those pigs doing? Teacher: O.O I don't think those are pigs...

A guy calls his buddy, the horse rancher, and says he's sending a friend over to look at a horse. His buddy asks, "How will I recognize him?" "That's easy, he's a midget with a speech impediment." So, the midget shows up, and the guy asks him if he's looking for a male or female horse. "A female horth." So he shows him a prized filly. "Nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth"? So the guy picks up the midget and he gives the horse's eyes the once over. "Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth?" So he picks the little fella up again, and shows him the horse's ears. "Nith earzth, can I thee her mouf?" The rancher is gettin' pretty ticked off by this point, but he picks him up again and show

HORSE RACE Line up: In lane 1. Passionate Lady In lane 2. Bare Belly In lane 3. Silk Panties In lane 4. Conscience In lane 5. Jockey Shorts In lane 6. Clean Sheets In lane 7. Thighs In lane 8. Big Dick In lane 9. Heavy Bosom In lane 10. Merry Cherry AND THEY'RE OFF!!! Conscience is left behind at the gate. Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry. Heavy Bosom is being pressured. Passionate Lady is caught between Thighs and Big Dick is knocking on the door. AT THE HALFWAY MARK: It's Bare Belly on top, Thighs open and Big Dick is moving in. Heavy Bosom is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets. Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly. Bare Belly is under terrific