Q: How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Hey, that's not funny! We're suing! Q: How many Japanese does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Who needs lightbulbs with our technology? Q: How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: We can't afford lightbulbs. The only thing I can afford is this old gym sock.

How many presidents does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They'll only promise change.

How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None 'o yo' fuckin' business!

Q: How many Aries does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Only one, but it takes a hell of a lot of lightbulbs. ----------------------------------------------- Q: How many Taurus does it take to change a lightbulb? A: What, me move? ----------------------------------------------- Q: How many Gemini does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Two. (C'mon, don't tell me you didn't see that coming!) ----------------------------------------------- Q: How many Cancer does it take to change a lightbulb? A: One, but he has to bring his mother. ----------------------------------------------- Q: How many Leos does it take to change a lightbulb? A: A dozen; one to change the lightbulb, and eleven to applaud

How many mathematicians does it take to replace a lightbulb? Pi. 3 screw exactly a radius's length, and the last about-one-seventh screws it in all the way!

Q: How many publishers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Three. One to screw it in and two more to hold down the editor.

How many scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. With all the technology that they have, its a wonder that they still use lightbulbs.

How many elves does it take to change a light bulb? Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to give him a boost.

Q. how long does it take for a man to change a lightbulb? A. 5 mins. 20 secs. 1 min to get a lightbulb 1 min to try and change it 1 min to swear because he can't do it 1 min to find a woman 20 secs. for her to change it 1 min for him to cry and gripe about it.

How many Russian leaders does it take to change a lightbulb? We don't know. Russian leaders don't last as long as lightbulbs.

How many George Walter Bushes does it take to change a lightbulb? Luckily, only 2. The world can't handle many more idiots.

How many Microsoft Employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they'll just make darkness the new industry standard!