How many old geezers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Back in my day, we didn't have lightbulbs. We put candles in tin cans and hung them from the ceiling with thread. And we had to walk uphill both ways to school in a blizzard with nothing but a potato to keep us warm. And... zzzzzz......

Q: How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Hey, that's not funny! We're suing! Q: How many Japanese does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Who needs lightbulbs with our technology? Q: How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: We can't afford lightbulbs. The only thing I can afford is this old gym sock.

How many presidents does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They'll only promise change.

How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None 'o yo' fuckin' business!

Q: How many Aries does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Only one, but it takes a hell of a lot of lightbulbs. ----------------------------------------------- Q: How many Taurus does it take to change a lightbulb? A: What, me move? ----------------------------------------------- Q: How many Gemini does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Two. (C'mon, don't tell me you didn't see that coming!) ----------------------------------------------- Q: How many Cancer does it take to change a lightbulb? A: One, but he has to bring his mother. ----------------------------------------------- Q: How many Leos does it take to change a lightbulb? A: A dozen; one to change the lightbulb, and eleven to applaud

How many mathematicians does it take to replace a lightbulb? Pi. 3 screw exactly a radius's length, and the last about-one-seventh screws it in all the way!

Q: How many publishers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Three. One to screw it in and two more to hold down the editor.

How many scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. With all the technology that they have, its a wonder that they still use lightbulbs.

How many elves does it take to change a light bulb? Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to give him a boost.

Q. how long does it take for a man to change a lightbulb? A. 5 mins. 20 secs. 1 min to get a lightbulb 1 min to try and change it 1 min to swear because he can't do it 1 min to find a woman 20 secs. for her to change it 1 min for him to cry and gripe about it.

How many Russian leaders does it take to change a lightbulb? We don't know. Russian leaders don't last as long as lightbulbs.

How many George Walter Bushes does it take to change a lightbulb? Luckily, only 2. The world can't handle many more idiots.