I can only be kind to one person a day. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Today is not your day.

You have the right to remain silent. Exercise it.

Did you have cookie for lunch? 'Cuz your face is kinda krummy.

How do we know that Christ was Irish? Because he was 33; still lived at home; thought his mother was a virgin, and she thought he was the son of God.

Roses are red Violets are blue God made me pretty What the heck happened to you?

Flea: (noun) a small, wingless, bloodsucking parasite (see also) a. Brother-in-law b. lawyer c. politician

Help reduce air pollution, stop breathing

Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent.

Keep talking, I always yawn when I'm interested.

Your mouth is so big you could swallow a whole banana... ...sideways

A half-wit gave you a piece of his mind, and you held on to it.

As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?