Stupidity is not a crime... So you're free to go!

You're so old your social security number is 1!

You were so ugly as a baby, your incubator was tinted.

A dumb blonde, smart blonde, santa clause, and the tooth fairy are walking on the sidewalk together. One of them steps on a five dollar bill. Who picks it up? Answer no one!! three of them don't exist and the dumb blonde thought it was a gum wrapper.

A biker walks into a yuppie bar and shouts, "All lawyers are assholes!" He looks around, obviously hoping for a challenge. Finally a guy comes up to him, taps him on the shoulder, and says, "Take that back." The biker says, "Why? Are you a lawyer?" "No, I'm an asshole."

You're so broke, your bologna doesn't have a first name.

A black female is having trouble with her menses. She goes to the gynecologist and he asks: "Mrs. Williams, what kind of flow do you have?" "Linoleum" she replies.

What do you call a black woman with braces? A Black & Decker Pecker Wrecker. Hear about the new deodorant called "Umpire"? It's for foul balls. How do you circumcise a whale? Fore-skin divers. What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an Italian? A guy who makes you an offer you can't understand. Why don't they use the 911 system in Poland? Polacks can't find the 'eleven' on the telephone dial. What do Polish women do when they're done sucking cock? Spit out the feathers. Why aren't cowboys circumcised? They need someplace to keep their Skoal while they eat lunch. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead! How do you make a baby float? One root b

1. You don't like newbies. 2.You are #1 on this website. 3. You pretend to know everything. 4. You dislike AC3P1L07 5. You nail people for doing what you did. 6. You yell DUPE if someone you don't know posts anything. 7. Coincidently you only report it if it really is. 8. You received a message from AC3P1L07 saying to f*** off 9. AC3P1L07 hates you. 10. Your user name is ANCHMIKE SO PISS IN SOMEONE ELSES CERIAL, I AM NOT TO BE TRIFLED WITH.

1st man: My son was born on Saint David's day, so I called him David. 2nd man: My son was born on Saint Patrick's day, so I called him Patrick. 3rd man: Well, my son was born on Shrove Tuesday, so I called him Pancakes.

Ever hear about the Polish athlete who won a gold medal? He had it bronzed.

What's a Jewish dilemma? A free ham sandwich.