Did you fall out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on your way down?

Did you eat a bowl of stupid for breakfast this morning?

You're pretty... pretty ugly! You finally figured out how to screw in that lightbulb, but the power went out. You're smart... smart as a fencepost!

You're so stupid you thought "harass" was two words!

If my dog's face looked like your face, I'd shave his ass and make him walk backwards!

You have a face like a baby, with a brain to match. * Credited to my friend fqzeng.

Why are there so few amusement parks in Japan? Because they aren't tall enough to ride them!

A man went to apply for a job. After filling out all of his applications, he waited anxiously for the outcome. The employer read all his applications and said, "We have an opening for people like you." "Oh, great," he said, "What is it?" "It's called the door!"

The closest you've ever come to a brainstorm is a light drizzle!

Oh, what a shame. It looks like the Ugly Fairy kissed you on both cheeks.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Yo momma is ugly, And she looks just like you.

Could you fax me your photo very very urgently? Mind you it's really very very urgent, damn serious and very important ..... I'm playing cards and we've misplaced the JOKER.