Some useful descriptions of people you may come into contact with from day to day. 1. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer. 2. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching. 3. A room temperature IQ. 4. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold them together. 5. A photographic memory, but the lens cover is glued on. 6. A prime candidate for natural de-selection. 7. Bright as Alaska in December. 8. During evolution, his ancestors were in the control group. 9. Fell out of the family tree. 10. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming. 11. Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it. 12. He's so dense, light bends around h

I would punch you but I couldn't make you any uglier.

You're so fat you make sumos look anorexic.

You're so fat Richard Simmons laughs at you.

Your IQ is so low, you have to dig for it!

If I wanted to think of a better come back, I'd dig it out of your @$$!

Roses are red, Grass is green. You have the shape Of a washing machine.

You're so dumb, you studied for a blood test!

I used to think you were crazy, but now I can see your nuts

You're so dumb, you staple in the middle of the paper!

Q: You know what's gross? A: When you look in a mirror!

Q. How do you know when you're REALLY ugly? A. Your dog humps your leg with his eyes closed