Boudreaux went into the fish market to apply for a job. The boss thought to himself - I'm not hiring that lazy Cajun, so he decided to set a test for Boudreaux hoping he wouldn't be able to answer the questions and he'd be able to refuse him the job without getting into an argument. The first question was, "Without using numbers, represent the number 9." Boudreaux says, "Dat's easy" and proceeds to draw three trees. The boss says, "What in the world is that?" Boudreaux says, "Tree 'n tree 'n tree makes nine." "Fair enough" says the boss. "Second questions, same rules, but represent 99". Boudreaux stares into space for a while, then makes a smudge on each tree. "Der ya go sir," he says

After being interviewed by the school administration, the eager teaching prospect said: "Let me see if I've got this right. You want me to go into that room with all those kids and fill their every waking moment with a love for learning. And I'm supposed to instill a sense of pride in their ethnicity, modify their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse and even censor their T-shirt messages and dress habits. "You want me to wage a war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, check their backpacks for weapons of mass destruction, and raise their self esteem. You want me to teach them patriotism, good citizenship, sportsmanship, and fair play, how and where to register to

A guy had been feeling down for so long that he finally decided to seek the aid of a psychiatrist. He went there, laid on the couch, spilled his guts then waited for the profound wisdom of the psychiatrist to make him feel better. The psychiatrist asked him a few questions, took some notes then sat thinking in silence for a few minutes with a puzzled look on his face. Suddenly, he looked up with an expression of delight and said, "Um, I think your problem is low self-esteem. It is very common among losers."

A group of managers was given the assignment to measure the height of a flagpole. They got their ladders and tape measures and went out to the flagpole. However, the measurement job turned out to be much more difficult than any of them had expected, with some of them falling off the ladders, some dropping their tape measures and so on, and the whole thing had just turned into a big disaster. After a while, an engineer happened to walk by and saw what the managers were attempting to do. She walked over, pulled the flagpole out of the ground, and laid it flat on the ground. She measured it from end to end, gave the measurement to one of the managers and then walked away without saying a word.

The head of a small industrial company posted a slogan all around the office and plant saying, "Do it now!" with the hope of getting better results from his workers. Some weeks later, when asked why he was removing the slogan signs, he said, "It worked too well. The bookkeeper skipped with $20,000, the chief clerk eloped with the best secretary I've ever had, three salesmen asked for raises, and the workers in the factory joined the union and are out on strike."

New IRS auditor, eager to make a name for himself, decided to review the tax returns of the local synagogue. He assumed they were turning some unreported revenues somewhere, and was determined to find it. He proceeded to interrogate the Rabbi, asking him what the Synagogue did with the wax drippings from the Shabbat, Havdallah and Chanukah candles. The Rabbi, pleased to show the auditor that nothing went to waste, responded that the used wax is collected and sent to a candle factory and they send the temple new candles. "What about the crumbs from the matzah you eat at Passover?" asked the IRS auditor. "Simple," the Rabbi responded. "We collect all the crumbs, send them to the matza

A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship under way. With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men and soon, the ship had left port and was steaming out of the channel. The ensign's efficiency has been remarkable. In fact, the deck was abuzz with talk that he had set a new record for getting a destroyer under way. The ensign glowed at his accomplishment and was not all surprised when another seaman approached him with a message from the captain. He was, however, a bit surprised to find that it was a radio message, and he was even more surprised when he read, "My persona

A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money. The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn't been paid. The collections manager left a voice-mail for them saying, "We can't ship your new order until you pay for the last one." The next day the collections manager received a collect phone call, "Please cancel the order. We can't wait that long."

Harry walks into his supervisor's office. "Boss," he says, "We're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff." "We're short-handed, Harry," the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off." "Thanks, boss," says Harry, "I knew I could count on you!"

This is truly a heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little girl and some construction workers. This makes you want to believe in the goodness of people and that there is hope for the human race. A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers. She hung around and eventually the construction crew, all of them gems-in-the-rough, more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had co

We've just been notified by Security that there have been six suspected terrorists working out of your office. Five of the six have been apprehended. Bin Sleepin, Bin Loafin, Bin Goofin, Bin Lunchin and Bin Drinkin have been taken into custody. Our agent advised us that they could find no one fitting the description of the sixth cell member, Bin Workin, at your office. Security is confident that anyone who looks like he's Bin Workin will be very easy to spot. You are obviously not a suspect at this time

Billy Bob wanted a job as a signalman on the railways. He was told to meet the inspector at the signal box. The inspector asked, "What would you do if you realized that two trains were heading for each other on the same track?" Billy Bob replied, "I would switch the points for one of the trains." "What if the lever broke?" asked the inspector. "Then I'd dash down out of the signal box," said Billy Bob, "and I'd use the manual lever over there." "What if that had been struck by lightning?" "Then," Billy Bob continued, "I'd run back into the signal box and phone the next signal box." "What if the phone was busy?" "Well in that case," persevered Billy Bob, "I'd rush down out of the box