(A teen approaches my cash register very slowly.) Me: "Can I help you?" Customer: "Gimme all the f***ing medicine!" (The teen pulls out an airsoft pistol with orange tip still glued to the front.) Me: "The pharmacy is in the back of the store." Customer: "Oh...okay." (He holsters the air-soft gun in his belt and darts down the aisles to the back of the store. My manager comes out of the back room because of the commotion.) Manager: "Who was that?" Me: "Some kid looking for drugs. He went back to the pharmacy." Manager: "Why didn't you call the police?" (The teen runs screaming from the back of the store out of the front door followed closely by the pharmacy technician, a 35 year ol

(It's Halloween, and I'm dressed up as a vampire and wearing a pentacle necklace. The crew is planning on going out after work for a party.) Me: "Did you find everything you needed tonight?" Customer: "Yes, thank you. Can I just say that I think it was very nice of them to let you all dress up for tonight? I really like what you have on." Me: "Thank you, ma'am." Customer: "But don't you think you took it a little too far?" Me: "Uh... took what too far?" Customer: "Well I understand that you're supposed to be some type of vampire, but don't you think that necklace is taking it too far?" Me: "Oh, that. That's not part of my costume, I always wear that." Customer: *loudly* "Well if you

Employee: *making out a rain check* "Okay, so I'm just going to look on the computer and check if any other locations have this item." Nice customer: "Okay, thanks." Angry customer: "Stop f***ing socializing and do your g**d*** job!" Employee: "Sir, please don't be abusive, I'm just checking our other loc-" Angry customer: "I don't care! DO YOUR JOB!" (At this point, the angry customer moves toward the counter in a very threatening way. The customer behind HIM, a super-fit guy in a UFC jacket, steps in. Mr. UFC grabs the angry customer in a CHOKE HOLD and drags him outside, followed quickly by management, and to the applause of the staff and customers inside the store.) (The angry cust

(Often I enter the beer cooler with shorts, a t-shirt and some rubber-hand work gloves on.) Me: *walks out of the cooler* Customer: "Are you f***ing insane? It's freezing in there. Me: "I don't mind it." Customer: "That's bulls***! You know it's cold. Why would you lie to me?" Me: "Excuse me? I'm pretty sure I know my own tolerance and I'm working so I get a bit warm, even in there." Customer: "WARM!? In a COOLER!? You're a G**D*** LIAR! How can you be WARM in THERE!" Me: "I'm Canadian, and ever since my igloo melted I only feel at home in there." Customer: "Oh, I didn't know. I'm sorry for your loss."

Me: "Sir, would you like to use any coupons today?" Customer: "Yes, I've been saving them. Here you go!" (He hands me a coupon that had expired five years previously.) Me: "Sir, your coupon is expired." Customer: "WHAT?! What do you mean its expired? You f***ing b****, you're just trying to steal my f***ing money! You're trying to rob me! You and this f***ing company are trying to steal my f***ing money!" (The customer attempts to climb over the counter and attack me. Thankfully, my manager intercepts him.) Manager: "Sir, I need you to come with me." (My manager hauls the customer off counter by the back of his collar and drags him outside. Ten minutes pass, and he comes back in hauli