Category Jokes - Gross
A young cowboy walked into a seedy cafe in a small town in western Oklahoma. He sat at the counter and noticed an older cowboy with his arms folded staring blankly at a bowl of chili.
After about 15 minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy bravely asked, "If you ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do?"
The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his best cowboy manner states, "Nah, go ahead."
Eagerly, the young cowboy reached over and slid the bowl over to his place
and started spooning it in with delight. He got nearly down to the bottom of the bowl and noticed a rotten, dead rat in the chili. The sight was shocking and he immediately puked u
What's grosser than gross?
When you find a used tampon in your ketchup bottle.
What's grosser than gross?
When you're eating a bowl of rice crispies and one gets up and slithers away.
Two friends were talking.
The first one said to the other, "Hey, have you seen the movie, "Constipated" yet?"
The other replied, "Of course not! It hasn't come out yet."
One drunk to another: "Have you ever been so drunk you'd kiss a woman's stomach?" Second drunk: "I've been drunker than that!"
What's the difference between a prostitute, your mistress and your wife?
The prostitute says, "Are you done yet?"
Your mistress says, "You're not done yet!"
And your wife says, "Beige, I think we ought to paint the ceiling beige."
What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure can pick tomatoes!
What's black, has white eyes and knocks on glass? A black in a microwave.
Why don't blacks like blow jobs? They don't like any job.
What do you call two Vietnamese in a TransAm? The gooks of hazard.
Did you hear about the polish Lesbian? She LOVED men.
Why are Jewish men circumcised? Jewish women don't buy anything unless it's 20% off!
What's the only food that ruins your sex life? Wedding cake.
What do you call a Filipino contortionist? A Manila folder.
How do you make a black man nervous? Take him to an auction.
Did you hear about the two Mexicans who appeared on "That's
Husband and wife are doing the spring house cleaning. Wife asks husband to hang some new curtain rods, but he can't do it without toggle bolts.
He sends her to the hardware store where she asks the man behind the counter for two toggle bolts. He puts them on the counter, then asks, "You wanna screw for these?"
"No," she replies, "but I'll blow you for the clock radio on the shelf."
*******before you read this I want you all to know this is a real letter written to an airline company by a passanger who rode in the plane***********
Dear Continental Airlines,
I am disgusted as I write this note to you about the miserable experience I am having sitting in seat 29E on one of your aircrafts. As you may know, this seat is situated directly across from the lavatory, so close that I can reach out my left am and touch the door.
All my senses are being tortured simultaneously. It's difficult to say what the worst part about sitting in 29E really is. Is it the stench of the sanitation fluid that's blown all over my body every 60 seconds when the door opens? Is it the wooos
The Goriest, Scariest, Yuckiest Top 12 Things You Really Don't Want To See Written In Blood...
12) "Richard Hillman did it and------"
11) "Can you guess where your friends are?"
10) Your name signed on a Microsoft License Agreement
9) "Remember that kid you picked on during Junior Cert year..."
8) Your name on the bottom of a contract from Fianna Fail. (Irish government party)
7) "See! I can spell! Yor next"
6) "Luke, I am your father."
5) "Where the feck are the Elastoplasts?"
4) Your overdue Visa bill
3) "Does anyone have a spare Tampax?"
2) "Did yez ever wonder what happened to the blood you donated?"
1) "Dude you're gettin' a Dell!"
Q: What do the Star Trek Enterprise and toilet paper have in common?
A: They both circle around Uranus searching for Klingons!
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