There once was this kid named Oddy, He always missed the Potty, He went some poops, and shouted out oops, Because Oddy Missed the Potty

HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE, the cat did a piddle, all over the bedside clock, The little dog laughed to see such fun then died of electric shock.

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads: --------------------------------------- | Cheese Sandwich: $1.50 | | Chicken Sandwich: $2.50 | | Hand Job: $10.00 | --------------------------------------- Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men. "Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?" "I was wondering", whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?" "Yes," she purrs, "I am." The man replies "Well wash your

As I was packing for my business trip, my 3-year old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point, she said, "Daddy, look at this," and stuck out two of her fingers. Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in my mouth and said, "Daddy's gonna eat your fingers!" pretending to eat them before I rushed out of the room again. When I returned, my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face. I said, "What's wrong, honey?" She replied, "What happened to my booger?"

Very stinky I can be. And a wet hole is all you see. Give me a rod and I'm happy. In the silence I can queef. No one thinks they're eating beef. And please oh please don't use teeth.

A man walked into a hotel and asked for a room. The guy behind the counter said there is only one room left but it is haunted. The man does not believe this so he gets the room. That night the man hears a voice saying "I`m gonna find you, I`m gonna get you, I`m gonna eat you!" The man runs away scared. The next day a father and his daughter get the room after they were warned. That night they hear "I`m gonna find you, I`m gonna get you, I`m gonna eat you!" The girl hides under the bed as the father follows the sound to the closet. He opens the door. There on the floor sits a little boy, picking his nose, saying "I`m gonna find you, I`m gonna get you, I`m gonna eat you!"

A man walks into a hotel and asks for a room. The guy behind the counter tells him that there is one room left but it is haunted. The man gets the room anyway. That night he hears in a soft voice "If the log rolls over we`ll all die!" He runs away. The next day a father and his daughter get the room after they were told that it is haunted. That night they hear "If the log rolls over we`ll all die!" The girl hides under the bed as the father follows the sound to the bathroom door. He opens the door. There on the ground is a bunch of ants staring at a turd saying, "If the log rolls over, we'll all die!"

A man walks into a hotel and asks the man for a room. The clerk says, "There's only one room left, and it's haunted." But the man says, "I'll take it!" That night he heard the ghost. "I'm the ghost of Teeny Weenie! Stay here and I'll take your weenie!" and the man ran out of the hotel as fast as he could. The next day, another man needed a room. The clerk again said, "There's only one room left and it's haunted." The man said,"I'll take it!" That night he heard the ghost. "I'm the ghost of Teeny Weenie!" he chanted. "Get out of bed or I'll take your weenie!" and he too ran out of the hotel as fast as he could. The day after, another man came in needing a room. The clerk said for the third ti

A guy walks into a strip club and sees a really pretty girl right in front of him. He goes up to her and asks, "Hey, Honey, want to come home with me?" She says yes. They go back to his house that night and they have sex. Throughout this whole time he hasn't been able to see her properly. When she rolls into the moonlight, he caught a glimpse of her. "What, the...! What are you doing here?" He had just realised that he was in bed wth his mother-in-law!

I slide to first. I feel like I'm going to burst. Diarrhea, diarrhea. I slide to two. My pants are filled with goo. Diarrhea, diarrhea. I slide to third. I dropped a runny turd. Diarrhea, diarrhea. I slide to home. My pants are filled with foam. Diarrhea, diarrhea. First its in the pants, then its on the floor. I make a 20 yard dash to the bathroom door. Some people think its funny. Its coming out back runny. Well, diarrhea.

*The Poopie List* GHOST POOPIE: The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet. CLEAN POOPIE: The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper. WET POOPIE: The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you won't ruin them with stains. SECOND WAVE POOPIE: This happens when you're done poopie-ing and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize that you have to poopie some more. POP-A VEIN-IN-YOUR-FOREHEAD POOPIE: The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke. LINCO

During an hour's swimming at a municipal pool you will ingest 1/12 liter of urine. In an average day your hands will have come into indirect contact with 15 penises (touching door handles, etc.) Remote controls in hotels are the worst! (Always carry your Lysol spray!) An average person's yearly fast food intake will contain 12 pubic hairs. In a year you will have swallowed 14 insects -- while you slept! Annually you will shake hands with 6 women who have recently masturbated and failed to wash their hands. Annually you will shake hands with 11 men who have recently masturbated and failed to wash their hands. In a lifetime 22 nosey workmen doing work in your home, will have examined the