One day a man was sitting on a toilet with his solar power laptop, then his laptop fell in the toilet. He ran out of the bathroom screaming. The next person sat down to use the toilet. When he was done, he stood up looked at the toilet and screamed out of the bathroom. All the people in the bathroom ran out of the bathroom screaming.

Your dad has something wrong with his brain. After his appointment, the doctor says,"You have a spider, a termite, a pig, a cloud, a piece of poo, a tongue, and a camera in your brain so you'll have to have no brain for years." Then the doctor took operation on his brain.

Every year the class of Ms. Marquez has a class urine contest. The goal is to be the one to pee the most. If you do, you win. There are four contestants. One is from Japan, another is from the United States, the next is from Mexico, and the last, but definitely not the least, is from the Philippines. The Japanese filled a gallon with urine. The audience clapped. The American filled five big tanks of urine. The audience clapped and shouted. The Mexican filled five big tank and a gallon with urine. The audience clapped, shouted, and danced. Here is the Filipino. When th Filipino finished his turn, there were no one who clapped, shouted, nor danced, because the whole classroom was filled with

A woman is walking down the street with a pack of menstrual pads in her hand, after buying them from the store. A homeless guy comes by and kindly asks for money. The woman says she has no change. So, the guy being a smartass says, "Can I have some of that bread in your hand?" The woman being a bigger smartass says, "Meet me tomorrow and I will give it to you with some ketchup on it!"

what did one gay say to the other when they broke up? ''YOU'RE SUCH A PAIN IN THE A*S''

In an effort to clarify questions about the purported durability and unusual physical characteristics of Twinkies, we subjected the Hostess snack logs to the following experiments: Exposure A Twinkie was left on a window ledge for 4 days, during which time an inch and a half of rain fell. Many flies were observed crawling across the Twinkie's surface, but contrary to hypothesis, birds, even pigeons, avoided this potential source of substance. Despite the rain and prolonged exposure to the sun, the Twinkie retained its original color and form. When removed, the Twinkie was found to be substantially dehydrated. Cracked open, it was observed to have taken on the consistency of industrial foam

What is the difference between Jam and Marmalade? You can't marmalade your dick up a 2 year olds ass.

Oedipus was a real motherfucker.

Have you heard the joke about the blind gynecologist? She could "read lips."

one day boodler is walking down the street minding his own (porn) business when suddenly a shady figure drags him into the alley. the huge man rapes poor boodler with his freakishly large 20 inch cock. boodler squeals like a pig. no one comes to help or look as the town is familiar with the sound. you see, boodler goes around town butt naked every sunday squealing like a pig. and today happens to be sunday. no one helps the poor bastard. boodler can take so much cock up his ass all at once. so he faints although the raping continues. next day morning, boodler finds himself in an alley. poor pig limps. his ass sore from the joy ride last night. now you can see him submitting jokes on wocka

Imagine that you are on an adventure in a jungle with your best friend. Your friend gets bitten (on his manhood) by a poisonous snake while he was peeing. There isn't a hospital for hundreds of miles. The question is, will you SUCK the poison out or will you just watch him die?

What's grosser than gross? A pile of dead babies in a trash can. What's grosser than that? The one at the bottom is still alive. What's grosser than that? He has to eat his way to freedom. What's grosser than that? He goes back for more.