Category Jokes - Gross
Three friends decided to check out a room in a hotel, but before the man gave them their key he said, "In your room there is a window. If you jump out of it while wishing something outloud your wish will come true."
The three friends raced to their room, the first guy jumped out and said, "I wish for a big pile of money!" and landed in one. The second guy wished for a group of cheerleaders that would love him. He jumped out and landed in their arms. The third guy got a running start, tripped over the window frame and said, "Crap!" Let's just say he went back to wish for lots and lots of soap.
Two prostitutes moved to a new town, and on their first Sunday, went to church.
One of the girls was quite proud of her singing; the other felt she couldn't carry a tune in a bucket, so was quiet.
After one desultory hymn, the priest berated the congregation, "Quite clearly, there are some who are singing, and some who are not. Can we please have a more concerted effort for the other hymns?"
One whisper to her friend, "My word, how did he know about us so quickly?"
Guy goes into a drug store and asks for deodorant.
Assistant says, "Aerosol or ball-type?" to which he replies, "Neither, it's for under my arms."
There once was a man from Nantucket,
Whose cock was so long he could suck it,
Said he with a grin,
As he wiped off his chin,
If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it!
What's the last thing that goes through a fly's mind when he hits your windshield?
His asshole!
A man was walking through the desert, when he found a woman buried up to her neck.
The woman asks him to dig her out, and he says, "What's in it for me?"
She replies, "Sand."
A man stops to stay at hotel for the night, and when he goes to check in, the clerk tells him, "There is only one room left, and there are three holes in the wall. Whatever you do, don't stick your dick into any of the holes."
When the man gets inside the room, his curiosity gets the best of him, and he sticks his dick in the first hole. Immediately a hunter shoots it off with a rifle. The pain is so unbearable, the man jumps out the second story window and plummets to his death.
The next night, another man comes to stay at the same hotel. The clerk tells him, "There is only one room left, and there are three holes in the wall. Whatever you do, don't stick your dick into any of the holes.
Billy turns up at school very late one morning, and the teacher asks the reason why he's late.
"Sorry, Miss, my dad got burned."
"I'm sorry to hear that; I hope it's not serious," she replies.
"Oh, they don't piss about at the crematorium, Miss!"
One day, shortly after the birth of their new baby, the mother had to go out to do some errands, so the proud father stayed home to watch his wonderful new son.
Soon after the mother left, the baby started to cry. The father did everything he could think of, but the baby just wouldn't stop crying. Finally, the dad got so worried he decided to take the infant to the doctor.
After the doctor listened to all the father had done to get the baby to stop crying, the doctor began to examine the baby's ears, chest and then down to the diaper area. When he opened the diaper, he found was indeed full.
"Here's the problem," the doctor explained. "He just needs to be changed."
The perplexed fath
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