Viola Jokes

Viola jokes are jokes usually insulting violas and violists, since they are, generally speaking, the most unpopular instruments. Please forgive me if you are a violist, but truly, there are just some good ones out there. :P Q: What is the difference between a viola and an onion? A: No one cries when you cut up a viola. Q: What is the difference between a viola and a trampoline? A: You have to take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline. Q: What's the difference between a violin and a viola? A: (1) The viola burns longer, (2) The viola holds more beer, and (3) You can tune the violin. Q: A viola burns longer than a violin; that's common sense. But why can it burn longer? A: It's usually still in the case. Q: How do you get a violist to play pianissimo tremolando? A: Mark the passage "solo". Q: What is the definition of a minor second? A: Two violists playing in unison. Q: What is the definition of "perfect pitch"? A: Someone throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim. Q: Why was the cannon invented? A: Because two violists tried playing the same passage together. Q: Why don't violists play hide-and-seek? A: Because no one will look for them. Q: What is the most popular recording of the William Walton viola concerto? A: Music Minus One