Things Not to Say to a Policeman

Things not to say to a policeman . . . - Care for a doughnut? - Met your quota? Happy now? - Before you arrest me, maybe Mr. George Washington could change your mind. - You're NOT gonna check the trunk, are you? - I want your badge number and your superior officer's name, NOW. - Just had to try out that new siren, didn't you? - Want to race to the station, Sparky? - I bet your wife really likes these handcuffs? - Hey, you must' a been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job! - I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around, that's how far behind I am. - Let's not forget who pays your salary hare! - Are you Andy ar Barney? - Hey officer, is that your nightstick or are you just happy to see me? - I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead. - You fascists always pick on us criminals. - Oh God. It's about the body, isn't it? - Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture next to my girlfriend's bed. - You're gonna have to speak up. This is my favorite song. - Thanks, officer! The cop yesterday only gave me a warning, too! - What seems to be the officer problem?