They are So Stupid

She sent me a fax with a stamp on it. -She tripped over the cordless phone. -She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind. -She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept. -At the bottom of the application where is says "Sign here", she wrote Sagittarius. -If she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless. -When she heard that 90% of all crimes were around the home, she moved. -She got an AM radio. It took her 9 months to figure out that she could use it at night. -She stood staring at the frozen orange juice because it said "Concentrate".