Tale Of The Sandwich Trailer

Here's the background: Bill works in a coffee, bagels, and sandwiches trailer on the campus of CSUC; Chuck is his boss and the owner of the truck, and yes, according to Bill, this actually happened. (Chuck is telling the story). Her: Yes, I'd like a milk with some coffee in it. Me: So, that's just a splash of coffee in a milk? Her: No, a regular amount of milk, but not coffee. Me: Is there more milk or coffee? Her: Oh, definitely more coffee. Me: So that's a coffee with some extra milk. Her: Just the usual amount of milk. Me: A coffee with milk. Her: Yes. Me: Anything else? Her: A little extra milk and do you have coffee with no caffeine? Me: We do have decaf. Her: No, I don't want decaf, just some coffee without the caffeine. Me: Ma'am, that's what decaf means, no caffeine. Her: Oh, then do you have milk with no caffeine? Me: Milk doesn't come with caffeine. Her: Yes, it does. Me: Not that I know of. Where do you get your milk? Her: It doesn't say caffeine free on the milk so it must have caffeine. Me: Oh, you're right, my mistake, I forgot that we get the decaf milk. No problem - we have only decaf milk. Anything else? Her: Do you have any bagels? Bill: (who has been listening all along): I'm sorry, ma'am, we're all out of decaf bagels. Her: Well, what are those? (pointing at sesame bagels) Bill: Those are sesame donuts with extra caffeine added. Her: I guess I'll just have the coffee. Do you take credit cards? Me: No ma'am, cash only. Her: What about Visa? Me: Is that a credit card? Her: Well, yes. Bill: Is it cash? Her: No. Bill: Then no, we can't take it. Her: What about checks? Me: Cash, ma'am, nothing else. Her: O.K. How much is that? Bill: Eleven dollars and 45 cents. Her: Really? Bill: New war in Alaska is ruining the coffee business, plus you wanted the coffee with no caffeine, that's hard to find now, had to grow it myself. Her: O.K. (proceeds to write a check) Bill: Please leave. Her: Why? Bill: You're raising my blood pressure, leave now. Her: But what about my coffee? Bill: Leave and never return. She leaves, but pays the $11.45 first. In cash. Seriously.