It's Time to Turn Your Computer Off When...

- You wake up at 3 am to go to the bathroom and stop to check your E-mail on the way back to bed. - You name your children Eudora, AOL and dotcom. - You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one. - You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap and your child in the overhead compartment. - You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free internet access. - You laugh at people with 14.4 band modems. - You start using smileys in your snail mail. - You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com - You can't call your mother because she doesn't have a modem. - You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again. - You don't know what gender three of your closest friends are, because they have neutral screennames and you never bothered to ask. - You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you Landscape - You tell the cab driver you live at http://1000.garden/house/brick.html - You start tilting your head sideways to smile. - After reading this, you immediately e-mail it to your friends.