From Real Job Applications

I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience. I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreasheet progroms. I am loyal to my employer at all costs.Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail. Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 am every day. I couldn't work under those conditions. Failed bar exam with relatively high grades. My goal is to be a meteorologist, but since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage. As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investments. Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store. The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers. I am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.