From a TRUE Friend

Aren't you tired of those stupid, mushy greeting cards down at the card store? Here's what a real friend would send to another... Dear friend, When you are sad, I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad... When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you... When you smile, I'll know you finally got laid... When you are scared, I'll will rag about it every chance I get... When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whinin'... When you are confuse, I will use little words to explain it to your dumb ass... When you are sick, stay away from me until you're well again. I don't want whatever you have... When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass... Sincerely, Your friend