Cars

What if people bought cars like they buy Computers? The car companies don't have help lines for people who don't know how to drive, because people don't buy cars like they buy computers, imagine if they did..... Helpline: General Motors Helpline, how can I help you? Customer: I got in my car and closed the door and nothing happened! Helpline: Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it? Customer: What's an ignition? Helpline: It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery and turns over the engine. Customer: Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to know all these technical terms to use my car. Helpline: Toyota Helpline, how can I help you? Customer: My car ran fine for a week and now it won't go anywhere! Helpline: Is the gas tank empty? Customer: Huh? How do I know? Helpline: There's a little gauge on the front panel with a needle and markings of 'E' and 'F'. Where is the needle pointing? Customer: It's pointing to 'E'. What does that mean? Helpline: It means you have to visit a gasoline vendor and purchase some more gasoline. You can install it yourself or pay the vendor to install it for you. Customer: What? I paid $18,000 for this car! And you're telling me I need to keep buying more components? This is outrageous! I want a car that comes with everything built in! Helpline: Ford Helpline, how can I help you? Customer: Your cars suck! Helpline: What's wrong? Customer: It crashed, that's what's wrong! Helpline: What were you doing? Customer: Well I wanted to go faster, so I pushed the accelerator pedal all the way to the floor, it worked for a while and then it when off the road at a corner and crashed and it won't start now! Helpline: It's your responsibility if you misuse the product. What do you expect us to do about it? Customer: I expect you to send me one of the latest versions that doesn't crash! Helpline: BMW Helpline, how can I help you? Customer: Hi, I just bought my first car, and I chose your car because it has automatic transmission, cruise control, power steering, power brakes, power door locks, power seats, power.. Helpline: Well,.. thanks for buying one of our top of line cars. So how can I help you? Customer: Well, how do I work it? Helpline: Do you know how to drive? Customer: Do I know how to what? Helpline: Do you know how to drive? Customer: Look, I'm not a mechanic. I'm not even very technical. I just want to go places in my new car!