Benisms

I have a friend named Ben who says the dardest things. Me an a different friend have compiled a list of the best ones _____________________________ Max: Have you noticed that people with lisps can't say lisp? Ben: Really?.. Lisp, Max: Ben you don't have a lisp -.- _____________________________ They make up some excuse about an over-time relationship thing. You mean long distance? _____________________________ shut up you criticism _____________________________ You know max, you get what you dish out and if you don't like it get out of the kitchen. _______________________________ I think it's a spiff or something! ********************************* Okay but you can't wake up on purpose. ********************************* (max) no tresping...wow I can't telk.... Damnit. ********************************* ben (playing video games): wow I'm sucking so much balls right now. Max: we know ben. We all know what you do in your free time Jyo: it's not exactly free Ben (distracted): yeah...that's why I don't have any money... Wait.. Max: so you pay them to suck their balls? Ben: faggots... ********************************* (Jyo): kellen quit being a whore (kellen): I'm not a whore... I'm a bitch. ********************************* Like two peas in a pot. ********************************* (ben humps air) Max (to ben): ew. Luke (watching a victorias secret commercial): no...thats awesome! ********************************* Ben: what are we watching? Max: dragon wars Ben: what's it about? Max: ...take a wild guess ben Ben: hey you never know! ...faggots... ********************************* You lose you snooze....crap. ******************************** Jyo: (playing video games): reload! You only have two shots left! (ben dies) Jyo: shoulda reloaded. ben: SHOULDA SHUDDUP! ********************************* Jewnormous ********************************* It's $10 an hour. We're just pulling whistles. (laughing in background) Shaddap mom! ********************************* (fire near ben's house.) "Look the leaves are turning yellow" "yeah I'd be turning yellow" ********************************* "wait, where's the boulder bolder?" ********************************* "well that's cause the fire fires put it out" ********************************* Orgasasm ********************************* big fucking well! ********************************* hey we were CII buddies! ********************************* max you look like a muffet. Max-what's that? It's a mix between a marmot and a squirrel ********************************* Jyo: what are you planning Ben: I'm not waging anything ********************************* oh yeah that's a good tacnic (tactic) ********************************* stay away from my crocs. (crotch) ********************************* it was pouring wind! ********************************* I'm just a little blind ********************************* Ben-Careful you'll poke your eye out Jyo-With a poker chip? Ben-Exactly ********************************* boofuckinghoo ********************************* He's like a pirate he lives in ward (crazy freaking mountain town in colorado) ********************************* Ben-Hey max, look a fish. Max looks Ben Steals from Jyo. ******************************** Yeah it was laced with OCD.